Illusionaire

My snail-mail box has been deluged as of late with coupons and annoucements for the newly remodeled Safeway in Rose City on Sandy Boulevard. With this and the recent renovation to the Lloyd District store, Safeway is trying to upscale their clientele with a mix of low prices and artisan items. End result? Pretty appealing.
Pocket overflowing with coupons and grocery list in hand, I joined the madness at the grand re-opening this afternoon. It took a while to secure a parking spot, but I got in! Couldn’t push my cart more than a few feet without running into another sample station. I tried everything from fresh cantalope to New York steak. It was fun to comiserate with my fellow customers about the crowds, and several staff members commented that they hadn’t expected such a huge turnout.
Once I was finally done with my shopping, the checkout lines were eight- to ten-carts deep. Several staffers functioned as “checkout hosts” and kept the area in front of the stands clear for cart traffic while the rest of the line extended into the grocery aisles. I strategically chose the one in the “Magazine and Greeting Cards” aisle because there was no avoiding the wait, and at least that would keep me entertained. I flipped through a copy of a home deco mag and people-watched. Since they were ready for crowds, it didn’t as long as I thought. Kudos to the staff for being well-organized and polite even after being on their feet all day.
It took about two hours altogether for me to emerge triumphant, saving a whopping 48% on my groceries. Complimentary Starwhore’s frapp-a-chino in hand (wouldn’t drink if I had to pay for it!), I dodged the cars headed in for their turn at the shopping adventure, loaded my rig, and headed home.

What a great weekend to be out and about! There was a parade on MLK, square dancers in huge swishy skirts all over the Lloyd District, and folks out enjoying their neighborhoods.
Always was a girl with an eye for a bargain
When it comes to trawling vintage, antique, thrift, consignment, recycle, and junk shops, I’m a seasoned amateur. The pros are out earlier than I am and have already bought what they consider to be the best stuff. Fortunately, since they are often in a hurry to cherry-pick and my tastes are not always mainstream, I’m still able to find some pretty amazing stuff. Decent knick-knack and clothing finds are possible at most shops, but for furniture I’ve always been more impressed with the Salvation Army on MLK than any of the Goodwill shops for one reason: Particleboard pieces are rare, and I’ve seen some pretty amazing pieces of vintage furniture going for a song. (Okay, that wound up being two reasons.)
SCRAP held their free stuff giveaway to clean out their storage space this morning, and I am very glad that I showed up early. It was the most orderly descending of vultures I’ve ever seen! No fighting, and everyone was pretty polite while elbowing their way into the fray. There was tons of terrific stuff, but I kept my limited storage space in mind and only picked up half a grocery bag of stuff. The free stuff giveaway is continuing throughout the weekend, so if you want to check out what’s left get going! Lots of fabric and paper supplies still available when I left.
Summer at the cinema
We checked out Batman Begins at The Roseway last weekend. It was my first trip there, and I want to see all of my first-run movies there from now on! Gorgeous locally-owned theatre with reasonable ticket prices. No advertising. Few if any previews. I think I was in high school the last time I could buy a first-run movie ticket for $6.50. Maybe even junior high. It’s the only place where I don’t mind the concession prices because that is where they make the money to keep the theatre alive, and they collect popcorn and candy boxes for paper recycling after every film. Tickets over at the mega-multiplex are $8.25 and I’m forced to wait through the most obnoxious commercial crap if I want to arrive at the theatre in time to get a decent seat. Support the locally-owned theater alternatives!
Clinton Street Theatre (home of the longest running showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show) has just opened their theatre pub, featuring pub food, an assortment of microbrews, and a different house-brewed beer each week. The official grand opening party will take place on Friday, July 1st.
There’s some great programs coming up at The Clinton. Here are the ones that caught my eye:

Saturday – July 9 – 7pm
Fuck Mickey Mouse
Ten cartoons from the 1930′s that show how other animation studios battled against the Disney Company juggernaut by first ripping off the rodent, then beating him to the punch in filming public domain material, and finally by openly mocking Uncle Walt and his minions with vicious parodies of his work. The show concludes with a cartoon Disney made that won the Academy award and that was then suppressed by the Disney company for fifty years.
Saturday – July 9 – 9pm
Top Secret Offensive Animation Show
Titles can not be announced for this program which shows the truth about American history as evidenced by classic cartoons that the copyright holders have suppressed for many years. Yes, the truth is here that you are not supposed to know about America’s Sexist, Racist, Violent past, amazingly enough contained in old cartoons.
Sunday – July 10 – 7pm
Vaudeville Deluxe preceded by live vaudeville
On film you will see a fabulous array of vaudeville entertainers from 1927 to 1940 including Gus Visser (The man with a duck), W.C. Fields (his rarely seen juggling act), an unknown performer who skips rope and tap dances ON HIS KNEES, Frankie Manning and The Congaroos (out of this world Lindy Hopping dancing), Chaz Chase (the man who would eat anything), Eddie Peabody (the banjo virtuoso) and many others. Live on stage you will see modern vaudeville entertainers who juggle, dance, play whacked out music and more.
Wednesday – July 13 – 7pm
Dada Dada Dada
The fifth annual BRING YOUR OWN MUSICAL INSTRUMENT SHOW!
What could be more in the Dada spirit than the audience providing the soundtrack to fabulous Dada and Surrealism films? If you can’t play your instrument it is even more in the true Dada spirit! There will be new material in this show and some old favorites. Included will be works by Man Ray, Fernand Leger, Rene Clair, Marcel Duchamp, Viking Eggling, and other masters. New this year will be Life and Death of 9413, Hollywood Extra by Robert Florey and the cartoon Felix Woos Whoopee.
Thursday – July 14 – 7pm
Marcia Brady Fetish Night
See Maureen McCormick play a high school slut who puts out for the whole football team in When Jennie When. See a classic Brady Bunch episode (complete with commercials). See the film The Bastard Son of A Virgin Whore made by Dan Kapelovitz, founder of the Partridge Family Temple. Do your hair just right and you might win a special prize to be given to the best Marcia Brady look a like!
August 12 – 18
24 HOURS ON CRAIGSLIST
From a single post on craigslist we assembled 8 film crews to document a random day-in-the-life of what has evolved into the world’s largest community board. Not just the “Best-Of” or the “Success Stories”, but a real, down-to-earth look at the fastest-growing grassroots cyber-community in the city that started it: San Francisco.
This is that day:
August 4, 2003.
An Ethel Merman drag queen searches for the perfect backup band for her Led Zeppelin covers. A suburban professional woman assembles a diabetic cat support group. A couple seeks the perfect rabbi for their marriage. A would-be mother finds her ideal sperm donor. Doors for sale, one night stands, compulsive roomates, transsexual erotic services. The mundane and the sublime, the ridiculous and the profound, all come together to paint a portrait of a thriving, humanistic community in the midst of an ever-accelerating culture.

My, what a busy weekend! We had a mom and an aunt in from out of town. They needed an introduction to our fair city, and this is how the itinerary went:
FRIDAY NIGHT
A run by It’s My Pleasure to check out toys, magazines, and gift items.
Dinner at Pambiche. Our guests really enjoyed their drinks, appetizers, and dinners, and I forgot to remind them to save room for dessert, so we missed out on the yummy specialty desserts.
A walk along 28th Avenue to point out the neighborhood, and a drive to check out some gorgeous houses.
SATURDAY
Breakfast at Hollywood Burger Bar, where we sat at the counter and chatted with the regulars. Mom was fascinated by the short order coooking process. “Look at how seamlessly they all work together!”
A wander through the Hollywood Farmers Market proved to be a big hit. We picked up fresh scones for Sunday’s breakfast, lots of fruits and vegetables, and organic meat for dinner.
Next stop was Washington Park to see the International Rose Test Garden and the Japanese Garden.
We headed up the hill to Pittock Mansion and took the tour of the house. Wow! I’m ashamed to say it was my first trip where I took the tour — every other time I had been up there it was after the house was closed. Wonderful to finally see what I was missing and learn a lot about Portland’s history.
Absolutely exhausted, we retired at home to cook a completely organic meal with our haul from the market. Lamb shanks with mint jelly, wild green salad, fresh asparagus, and roasted root vegetables. YUM!
SUNDAY
After a leisurely Sunday morning nosh of market scones, we hopped the MAX to Saturday Market. Picked up several types of soap, some unique flower-display devices, and a sketch portrait of John Lennon.
The smells wafting from the food court caught our attention, but we were set on having lunch at Ole! Ole!. Their food doesn’t disappoint, but their other customers can. The place filled up as our food was nearly ready, and there was one table left. The food for a young couple with a baby showed up before ours, and after watching the mom balance a tray laden with tacos and a fussy infant in the other, we took pity on them and gave them our table. THAT was a big mistake! Turns out their entire extended family was dining with them (keep in mind this is a tiny restaurant that primarily caters to the take-out crowd) and they commandeered additional tables by force, leaving us to huddle outside in the cold with our lengue and carnitas. I don’t think they thanked us for giving them the table, either — their table karma points will be in the pits of hell for months on that one. Anyway, some very nice ladies watched the whole interaction and made sure we got their table when they were ready to leave. We had to sit in close proximity to table-acquisition-through-deception family, but I was so happy to be indoors it didn’t matter.
Cruised the Eastside neighborhoods, pointing out memorable places such as Belmont’s Inn, where Aaron and I went on our first date.
Dashed into Pix Patisserie and picked up world-class sweets to enjoy for dessert after dinner.
Hooked up with Mexican Mochas (mine with mint!) at Touchstone Coffeehouse. Mmm…
Made it to Spa La La just in time for our pedicure appointments. Mimosas all ’round!
While we were in the neighborhood, Aaron did a walk-in at Bishops Barbershop to get a snazzy new haircolor (lavender!!!) and a slick do. During the coloring, Mom, Aunt, and I walked around Wild Oats and picked up snacks.
That wasn’t our true shopping destination, though. Mom had been clamoring to go to Zupan’s since the moment she arrived in town, and we spent plenty of time crawling the aisles and marveling over the wonderfully gastronomically-pleasing selection.
MONDAY
Monday morning we were off and running again, this time exploring the shops of Trendy-Third.
All that walking works up an appetite, so we enjoyed an early lunch at Kornblatt’s New York Style Deli. We even got coloring books!
A trip to Powell’s City of Books rounded out our shopping excursion. Since cel phone signals are weak at best in the building (intentional? I hope so!) we agreed to meet in the northwest corner in half an hour so everyone could browse their favorite rooms. That wasn’t enough time, so we agreed to meet in another half hour. Still not enough time, but by the third try everyone was satisfied enough with their purchases to depart the legendary independent bookstore.
OVERVIEW
We were on the move all weekend, and there are still many places we missed. Kell’s. The Grotto. Rimsky Korsakoffee. Any of the McMenamins. Theatre pubs that don’t belong to McM such as Laurelhurst Theatre or Clinton Street Theater. Public artwork. Too many other things to list!
I made them promise to visit again soon so we can continue our tour.