Tonight I had the honor of attending the third wedding of Cybele and Botielus, also known as The Fun Duo.
I wore my Elvis costume. Leslie gave me “Southern Hair” and did my makeup. Greg arrived in a bear costume and caught the bouquet. A dog reverend officiated. Beer was served before, during, and after the ceremony. I’ve never seen so many art cars in one place in my life. The entire event was filmed for an episode of Weird TV, and I still have confetti in my hair.
Subject: Cybelvis & Botielus get hitched for Weird TV 8/19 – by a dog!
Message: Yes, it’s true! And you’re invited!
At 6pm on Tuesday, August 19, 2003, Chuck Cirino of “Weird TV” (out of Los Angeles California) will film the unholy union of Cybelvis & Botielus – ministered by Reverend Bill – a Labrador Retriever, assisted by Reverend Chuck Linville (of Chuck Palahniuk’s “Fugitives & Refugees – A Walk in Portland Oregon” fame). How many weird Chucks can one chuck into one weird wedding, you may ask?
This silly ceremony will take place on the front lawn of Our Lady of Eternal Combustion’s Bunker in the picturesque Sellwood neighborhood of Portland Oregon.
The date marks not only a day to live in infamy, but also the birth of the accordion-toting groom many moons ago. Hence, a second reason for cake eating & drunken debauchery after the milk-bone-bouquet cookie toss!
A cake will be provided, as well as a case of beer (feel free to BYOB, since the wedding party will make mincemeat of it in mere moments). 1st come, 1st served, so please try to be on time – the light won’t last all night!
Wacky wedding and/or birthday gifts are welcome but not expected.
Ridiculous costuming is strongly encouraged. Small children are not.
Received the most fabulous attagirl in my inbox today about the book review I did of Andy King’s Speed Up Your Site at Digital Web Magazine:
jennifer,
hi, i wanted to thank you for your wonderful review of my book on digital web magazine. it is by far the best, most accurate review of my book that i’ve seen. bravo. it is great to read one from someone who gets my message.
i love the “swift kick to the keyboard” part, and quoted sections in my press page.
i’ve linked to your review from the companion site.
http://www.websiteoptimization.com
- andy
I realize that following up with people who review your book is good form and an excellent way to network, but I am thrilled that he enjoyed my article so much. I just have to wonder, though… is all lower case a way of optimizing email that wasn’t covered in the book?
Four years ago I was a new girl in town and figuring out the local landmarks. I had heard of the fabled 24 Hour Church of Elvis (not really open 24 hours and no longer open at all) but didn’t have a reason to go there until I heard about the Dead Elvis Parade taking place on the death anniversary, which also happens to be the anniversary of my birth. I conned a bunch of friends into joining me (“C’mon, it’s my birthday… it’ll be campy and fun!”) so this particular Tuesday night found us in an alley in downtown Portland gathering with an odd assortment of night owls.
Stephanie Pierce, minister and celebrity spokesmodel for the 24 Hour Church of Elvis, came down and explained to us that the preperations for the parade were underway, but she needed someone to protect us from Elvis. I volunteered, invoking my birthday as a reason to pick me, but she went in favor of a pre-pubescent girl, explaining that she needed a “pure soul.” (Okay, she had me there.)
The girl was handed a toy laser pistol and a sparkly Elvis cape while I was handed a mannequin torso with a string “strap” and a hammer to play as a dirge. The girl and the Saturday Market Elvis Impersonator faced off in the middle of the street as Stephanie announced that the Millennium was nigh and that Elvis would take over the world unless there was someone to stop him.
Elvis and the girl drew their weapons, but the girl was faster. With a couple of faint blips from the toy pistol, Elvis staggered backward and fell to the ground. Some punk kid with an Explicit Lyrics shirt rushed forward and put his ear to the street performer’s chest.
“He’s DEAD!!!”
This launched the gathered “mourners” into stream of wails, moans, and cries of “Elvis is Dead!” and “Long Live the King!” Stephanie recruited several strong people from the mourners and directed them to take care of the body, so they carefully deposited the inert form into a ready shopping cart decorated with holiday tinsel. With the shopping cart “hearse” in the lead, we wound our way through the streets of downtown Portland wailing about the death of the King.
Then the hearse stopped. Someone cried out, “I think I saw him move!” as Elvis pulled himself out of the cart and proceeded to sing a couple of a capella tunes on the street corner. We cheered and sang along until a contingent of mourners with carnival-style inflatable hammers beat Elvis to “death” and placed him back in the shopping cart.
This pattern continued multiple times where we would moan and wail, Elvis would be resurrected and, then he would be beaten to death with inflatable hammers. The entire way I’m merrily beating out a dirge on the mannequin torso while one of my friends kept hissing in my ear, “I’m going to fucking kill you for dragging me to this thing. What a bunch of weirdos!!!” I shrugged it off because I was having the time of my life because this was high campiness!
I finally agreed to leave the parade early after some creepy looking guy grabbed the ass of someone in my group, and we headed off towards the Gypsy in search of strong drink.
(Yes, this really happened.)
Discovered a press release this morning about Live From Nowhere Near You, a locally produced CD to benefit Outside In.
Kevin Moyer went into his attic studio alone with an idea and emerged with an emotionally vibrant compilation full of life and found sounds. By collaborating street musicians with friends and music professionals, he tells a story of life on the streets and the roads leading to and from there. With thick layers of raw and polished instrumentation, the music hits like waves of emotion eddying between the warmth of a large wool blanket and the cold of a concrete pillow. Highlights include: director Gus Van Sant on guitar and vocals, Pearl Jam guitarists Mike McCready and Stone Gossard, Cole Peterson of Sweet Water, Chris Friel of the Rockfords, Brad Hargreaves of Third Eye Blind, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Chris Ballew of the Presidents of the USA, Spoon, David Andrews of Colobo, The Robots, Bad Boy Blue, Pete Miser with drummer Mel Brown, Five Fingers of Funk, Mic Crenshaw and Hungry Mob, Kissing Book, STARS, Scott Fisher, Greg Snell, and many more! The profits from the sale of this CD will go to help the homeless and street youth programs of OUTSIDE-IN. (Source: Burnside Distribution)
I called Music Millennium immediately to reserve a copy. Release date is August 19th.
What an incredibly cool project! An organization like Outside In that can claim 80% of youth who go through their transitional housing program never return to the streets is definitely worth supporting.
I finally made it to Voodoo Doughnut. They have unconventional hours where they are generally open from 10pm to 10am, catering heavily to the creatures of the night. (Glad somebody is taking care of us insomniacs.) We arrived at ten minutes to ten and there was already a line forming.
We had Tang donuts, which were cake donuts with white frosting, tang powder, and a couple of mini marshmellows. The cake donut base for the Tang donut was amazing – they make *really* good donuts, unconventional flavors or not. Delish! Other flavors included cocoa puffs, fruit loops, caffeine, tums, and an assortment of traditional ones. They have offered Pepto-Bismol and Nyquil donuts previously, but apparently the health department is giving them the runaround about those flavors so they’re working on the red tape so they can offer them again. I really want to try their creullers next time.